My Philosophies on Life

I, like everyone else, want to be loved, happy, needed, and successful. I find happiness through various things.... spending time with my son, coaching, teaching, skiing, walking, visiting national parks, seeing nature, learning something new, applying what I know, getting better at something.  Happiness is not something we achieve and then we have, we have to continue to chase it. Sometimes happiness is in the journey and other times in the destination after a painful journey.

September 30, 2001 was probably the most important day in my life. My life was a mess... I was a terrible father, coach, and person. The simple truth is that I was a jerk and my life was out of control. I knew I had to change and fight on. To be calm, and not to panic, think it out and make the right decisions. I had to find an answer I had to change my life. I focused on the basic issues – who I was, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to accomplish, how to secure the life I wanted by changing my thought processes. It require almost a complete reversal from the way I had been thinking and acting. At that point I scrapped my life and my old self and started from scratch, creating the Jerome Michael Learman that I wanted to be.

There are two things that have really been keys for me:

  1. Think, act and speak with integrity. Be impeccable with my word. Speak with integrity. Say only what I mean. Use the power of my word in the direction of truth and love
  2. Be a virtuous person. This means living my life by virtues and not values. These are the virtues I try to live by:
     

    Humility

    Courage

    Discipline

    Forgiveness

    Generosity

    Honesty

    Hope

    Justice/Fairness

    Kindness

    Loyalty

    Moderation

    Patience

    Perseverance

    Prudence

    Respect

    Responsibility

    Simplicity

    Spirituality/Faith

    Tolerance

    Work

There are other things that have been useful in my life. The key is to remember these things at all times and to live by them at all times.

I want to be the best at several things in my life, I think to be #1 the following is required:

I believe success comes from three simple rules:

  1. Do what is right. You know the difference, and if you have any doubt, get out the Bible. It's right to be on time, polite, honest, to remain free from drugs.
  2. Do your best. We do not help people at all by accepting mediocrity when they are capable of being better. Don't worry about being popular. Many times we don't encourage others to do their best because we are more concerned with our player's appraisal of our efforts than we are with them.
  3. Treat others as you would like to be treated (golden rule). I have never seen a team, a family or a business that can't be better by emphasizing love and understanding.

The Corollaries to these rules are the four rules to live by:

  1. Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid speaking against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth & love.
  2. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say & do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
  3. Don't Make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstanding, sadness and drama. With just this one rule, you can completely transform your life
  4. Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

These rules are so important, however sometimes very difficult to honor. However, being aware, challenging yourself and practicing every day, the transformation in your life will be truly amazing!

There are three universal questions everyone asks of each other's spouse, players, coaches, parents, children, customers, and clients.

  1. Can I trust you? Without trust there is no marriage, etc. The only way you can generate trust is to do what is right all the time.
  2. Are you committed to excellence? Everyone wants to be identified with someone who aspires to be the best. Not the largest, but certainly the best. The only way you can show you are committed to excellence is to always DO YOUR BEST.
  3. Do you care about me? Do you care about me because I can run or pass? This question is critical if teamwork is to be achieved. The only way to show people you care about them is to treat people as you would like to be treated.

That I want to be better than average
That I wish to be a builder

learmanj@msu.edu